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Philippians 2:1-5, Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, 2 make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. 3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; 4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. 5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus,
Last week we talked about spiritual teamwork in the body of Christ. Stand firm together, strive together for the faith of the gospel, and be willing to suffer together for Christ. But now Paul unmasks a problem in the Philippian church – conflict. At least two ladies, Euodia and Syntyche, aren’t getting along in chapter 4, and we can be quite sure there were other conflicts that Paul is addressing. So Paul gives us some of the most helpful counsel in Scripture on how to manage and resolve conflict, whether in the church, in marriage, friendships, any relationship. We’re going to talk about the heart and soul of dealing with conflict and developing a Christlike attitude.
FOUR OBSERVATIONS ABOUT CONFLICT.
#1 Conflict is a fact of life in this Genesis 3 sinful world. Sinners have a tough time getting along with each other. The world is full of conflict. I have a book entitled Great Feuds in History. Fascinating. And God hasn’t covered up conflict in the Bible. No sooner have Adam and Eve sinned than Adam is blaming Eve for giving him that fruit, and actually blaming God, “The woman You gave me.” Cain gets angry and kills his brother. Abram’s and Lot’s shepherds argue over grazing territory. Israel splits into the northern kingdom and the southern kingdom arguing over power. Even the disciples argued over who was the greatest among them (Mark 9:33-34). The Corinthians were taking one another to secular law courts because of conflict. One of the ugliest scenes in sports is to watch a team member get angry and start arguing with either the coach or another member of the team. It’s embarrassing. When two believers can’t get along, it’s especially shameful.
Whether it’s over possessions, positions, politics, power, privilege, wounded pride, conflict is everywhere, including in churches. Elizabeth Elliot in Trusting God in a Twisted World makes this point: “When sinful people live in the same world, and especially when they work in the same office or sleep in the same bed, they sin against each other.” Dave Harvey titled his excellent book on marriage, When Sinners Say, “I do.” I tell couples heading to the marriage altar, “You’re marrying 20 years of habits. You’re going to need God’s help for resolving the conflicts that are sure to come.”
#2 God uses conflict to help us grow spiritually. Conflict isn’t good. Conflicts between believers displease God and violate biblical teaching about love, peace, unity on Christ. But through conflict God exposes our hearts. Pastor Bill Goode said, “God is going to let people treat you badly to help you grow.” It’s amazing how humble and meek we are until someone criticizes us, offends us, slanders, or gossips about us. Right at that point God is testing our hearts. How will I handle this? Will my selfish lusts take over or will I exercise self-control, return good for evil, choose to be like Christ in this situation? That’s what God is talking about in this powerful passage. God is showing us how proud and self-serving our hearts are and how much we need His grace and power to handle the test in a Christ-honoring way. However, while God uses conflict to help us grow, to humble us, and teach us to love others in a Christlike way, Satan is also at work.
Satan uses conflict to destroy God’s people. If Satan can’t destroy a church through heresy or persecution or apathy and spiritual deadness, he’ll sneak in the back door by setting believers against each other. In 2 Corinthians 2 Paul urged the believers to forgive someone who had repented of their sin, perhaps the sin of incest. He added in verse 11, “so that no advantage would be taken of us by Satan, for we are not ignorant of his schemes.” Satan’s schemes include stirring up conflict to destroy the church’s gospel testimony in the community. But here’s the good news.
God has answers for handling conflict and disunity among His people. Elizabeth Elliott continues about those conflicts, “God knows all about them, and knew about them long before they happened. He made provision for them.” So true. Conflict never takes God by surprise, and one of the most helpful passages is right here in Philippians 2. Let’s do a quick scan of the passage and then come back and zero in on verses 1-2. One grammatical note here. When Paul uses “if” in verse 1 he means “since.” These are what we call a first class condition. If and it’s true.
- Verse 1 – Constantly remember, every single day, how blessed you are in Christ.
- Verse 2 – Keep a close watch over your heart that can easily slip into self-centeredness.
- Verse 3 – Declare war on pride in all its manifestations. Pride is so tough and ornery you’ll never kill it entirely until you go to glory.
- Verse 3 – Let Christ-like humility dominate all your relationships.
- Verse 4 – Live to serve and meet the needs of others before yourself.
- Verse 5 – Focus your way of thinking on the reality of Jesus Christ every day.
SPIRITUAL RESOURCES FOR RESOLVING CONFLICT – Vs. 1.
Verses 1-4 is one long sentence with one main clause in verse 2, “Make my joy complete.” Paul’s joy is ultimately in the Lord, but he says his joy will be even greater if you handle your differences in a Christlike way. We all know that conflict guts our joy. It’s hard to be happy when you’re at war with someone. It’s hard to sleep after you’ve had a heated argument with your spouse. That’s why Paul says in Ephesians 4:26, “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.” Then he adds, “And don’t give the devil a foothold in your life.” Joy and anger, peace and resentment simply don’t live together in the same soul. Now, let’s zero in on the resources God has given us to handle conflict.
“If there is any encouragement in Christ.” The word encourage is paraklesis. It means coming alongside into your heart with confidence, with strength, with hope. There are tons of encouragement for us in Christ. What has He done for you? God has brought you into eternal union with Christ, you’re forgiven in Christ, justified or declared righteous through Christ, you are sealed by the Spirit in Christ, kept by God’s power in Christ, baptized into Christ along with every other believer. Are you being mistreated? So was Christ. Has someone slandered you? So was your Savior. Remember all this when an issue springs up with someone that cuts crosswise on your heart. Instead of reacting with cutting words, no matter how much you think they deserve it, remember your rich blessings in Christ and overcome evil with good, kindness, tenderheartedness, and forgiveness.
“If there is any consolation of love.” When you’re tempted to anger or develop hard feelings toward another believer, remember this: God has poured out His love into your heart, even though you were a guilty rebel and deserved His wrath. You are comforted in the everlasting love of Christ, and nothing will separate you from it. Dwight Pentecost says, “The fact that God loved me, as unlovely as I was, ought to move me to love the brethren.”
“If there is any fellowship of the Spirit.”
1 Corinthians 12:13, For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body, whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free, and we were all made to drink of one Spirit.
Fellowship means joint, close participation. You would think since every believer has the same Spirit of Christ, and we do, there would never be any conflicts or disagreements. When you first come to Christ and you get in a good Bible teaching church, you just kind of think everyone is pretty much perfect. They are all so precious and sweet. You love them all. You can’t imagine anything disrupting that sweet unity. But as you get closer to people you begin to see flaws you didn’t notice before. Here’s some breaking news – no one is perfect in this church. We’re all sinners saved by grace and we’re all in the process of growing and changing, called progressive sanctification. We’re learning to use words that build up rather than tear down, but sometimes we fail. Notice how Paul puts grieving the Spirit right behind the third rule of communication, “Attack problems not people.”
Ephesians 4:29-30, Let no unwholesome (harsh, cutting) word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. 30 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
“If any affection and compassion.”
Affection is that word splagchna, speaking of our innards where we feel deep inner emotions, the compelling feelings, for example, of a loving mother for her children. Christ has this deep personal feeling for His sheep, for His people. He loves us deeply. And compassion is the word “mercy” in 2 Corinthians 1:3, God is the Father of mercies and God of all comfort. Remember that fellow who owed his master a huge sum of money and he pled for mercy and his master felt deeply (splanghna) and forgave him. And what did that fellow do? He went out and found someone who owed him a few bucks and demanded payment, “Give me the money.” The poor guy didn’t have it, so the forgiven wretch started to choke him to get it out of him and threw him in prison. Paul is saying, “Remember how affectionate, compassionate, how forgiving, how gracious God has been to you.” This is the gospel basis of all our relationships in the body of Christ. When you attack someone, even in your heart, you are acting like this forgiven thug. Jesus said in Luke 6:36, “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.”
Isaac Watts wrote, “When I survey the wondrous cross on which the Prince of Glory died, my richest gain I count but loss and pour contempt on all my pride!” When you’re at the foot of the cross and hear Jesus cry out, “Father, forgive them,” you can’t hold a grudge or simmer with anger toward anyone.
PAUL’S COMPLETE JOY IN THE UNITY OF GOD’S PEOPLE – Vs. 2.
“Make my joy complete…” Now Paul lets us know what will add more joy on top of the joy he already has in Christ. It has nothing to do with the size of the church or offerings or the dynamic preachers they have coming in to wow them. It’s all about the unity and spiritual maturity of the believers in Philippi and we can apply it to us. John said in 3 John 4, “I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth,” which reminds us that unity is always based on truth. There can be no unity in error or false doctrine. Spurgeon said, “Truth alone must determine our alignments. Truth comes before unity. Unity without truth is hazardous.”
Paul urges us to keep a close watch over our hearts. He piles up four little phrases and we aren’t going to skip over them. They are God’s inspired, inerrant, authoritative, and sufficient phrases that He expects us to practice. God knows exactly what we need to resolve differences and maintain or restore harmony. These beautifully describe a good marriage as both are one flesh. Remember the last time you got sideways with your spouse? “I’m right and she’s wrong and I’m not giving in.” I’ve heard of couples driving for hours after spectacular conflicts without saying one word! Where do these conflicts originate? James tells us.
James 4:1, What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members?
Our hearts are so selfish. Every fight, every quarrel, every conflict comes out of our hearts, which is exactly what Jesus said, “Out of the heart proceed evil thoughts.” We’re not getting what we want, or we’re getting what we don’t want, and we’re not happy campers. We’re like the little boy kicking and screaming out of Wal-Mart because he didn’t get that toy, but we’re much more sophisticated about it. James says we’re at war in our hearts and this war comes out against others. That’s why God says in Proverbs 4:23, “Keep a tight rein on your heart because out of it come the issues of life.” We live out of our hearts. This is what Paul is talking about in these brief imperatives. Here’s how you watch over your heart with all diligence.
Being of the same mind. Paul’s not talking about Christian clones. He means keep your thoughts on Jesus Christ. Colossians 3:2 uses the same word for thinking, “Set your mind on things above.” Keep a Christ-centered, Christ-magnifying, Christ-pleasing mindset. Romans 12:16 says exactly the same thing, “Be of the same mind toward one another.” We are responsible for our thoughts and our thoughts need to be pulling in the same direction, to please our Lord.
Maintaining the same love. Paul surely means the same thing as he wrote to those Corinthians describing the better way. It’s not how much we know, give, or sacrifice, or even how strong our faith is. The same love is patient, kind, not jealous, not bragging, not arrogant, not acting unbecomingly, not seeking one’s own, not easily provoked, not holding grudges, rejoicing in righteousness and truth, bearing, believing, enduring all things (1 Corinthians 13). It’s God’s kind of love, a love that never fails. Where do we get this? Not from our own flesh. We access this kind of love from the Spirit of Christ within. The fruit of the Spirit is love.
United in spirit. It’s only one word, sumpsuchoi, “souled together.” It’s only used here in the New Testament. KJV says of “one accord” and Paul’s not talking about a Honda. Imagine you’re driving down the road arguing, angry, refusing to ask forgiveness, maybe a couple, a teenager arguing with her mom, two fellow believers expressing their fleshly hearts in anger or slander of malice and suddenly they become aware that Jesus Christ Himself is sitting right there in the back seat, listening the whole time. That’s what happened when the disciples were arguing about who was the greatest. Later He asks them, “What were you discussing while we were walking along?” They didn’t realize Jesus was listening in. Of course, He’s always listening in. Paul says be joined together in harmony in your inner beings with Christ.
Intent on one purpose. Paul uses that same word for mind again. Get your mind focused on one thing. What is the one purpose of a believer in Christ? Our purpose is to follow and please and magnify and acknowledge Christ in all we do! What is the chief end of man? To glorify God and enjoy Him forever.
SO WHAT?
Isn’t this good? How blessed we all are in Christ. Keep a watch over your heart. Don’t let anything creep into your thoughts to gut your joy. Don’t let any self-serving, self-defending, self-demanding thought get a foothold in your spirit. Keep your spirit, your mind saturated with the gospel of Jesus Christ and you will be a huge blessing to all whom you meet. But God will allow someone to bump into you from time to time to upset your spiritual table. What will you do? Remember all the blessings you have in Christ. If you react from your selfish heart, ask for forgiveness, and ask your merciful and compassionate God to flood your heart with His kind of love for that person who bumped into you. When conflict happens, thank God for His promise that when we confess our sins, He is faithful to forgive us.
Let’s ask God to flood our hearts with joy in Jesus, to make Jesus precious to us, and determine we’ll do whatever it takes to resolve differences or conflict in our lives. As a believer, we cannot continue a conflict with a fellow believer. In Matthew 5:24 Jesus says when there’s conflict, first go and be reconciled to your brother. Then come and worship the Lord.