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This has probably never happened to you. True story. An acquaintance of mine was looking for a parking space up close to the store. He finally found one, but it was very tight. He maneuvered his car into the spot and carefully squeezed his way out. When he returned, he found a note on his windshield: “I hope one of these days you get pregnant and someone parks that close to you!” You probably never thought about applying biblical principles to your parking methods, but that’s about how practical Paul gets in our passage before us.
In Romans 12:9-21 Paul gives us a great list of ways to live for Christ in our lives. I’m calling them “godly virtues.” I like the words godly and godliness. John Murray wrote, “The fear of God is the soul of godliness.” Godliness is learning to respond to the people and circumstances God brings into our lives in a God-honoring way. Jerry Bridges wrote a helpful little book called The Practice of Godliness. Jerry describes godliness as “Christian character that springs from devotion to God.”
Last week we looked at the first four godly virtues:
Verse 9 – Genuine love that hates evil and clings to whatever is good.
Verse 10 – Treating others with honor.
Verse 11 – Keeping the fires of zeal burning in our service for the Lord.
Verse 12 – Cheerfully handling trials with endurance and prayer, knowing God is in the trial.
This morning we’re looking at the next three:
- How you respond to the needs of others (v. 13).
- How you show compassion to others, whether unbelievers or believers (v. 14-15).
- How you practice humility in your relationships with others (v. 16).
Before moving into the text, let me make three observations about these godly virtues.
These virtues are all the opposite of our natural tendencies. We absolutely must have the power of the Spirit to enable us to obey these commands. Along with that, Paul told Timothy in 1 Timothy 4:7, “discipline yourself for godliness.” Godliness doesn’t come easy. But the fruit of the Spirit is self-control, and we must exercise self-control in every one of these areas of godly virtue.
God expects us to apply these virtues to our everyday lives. It’s too easy to get used to hearing without doing, and we are constantly reminded that hearing isn’t enough. James 1:21 says to hear and not apply God’s word is to deceive ourselves.
These virtues must apply first in your closest relationships. We need to thoughtfully take each godly virtue and ask, “Okay, how does this apply to my marriage? To my relationships with my children? In my family?” It’s easier to love people at a distance than up close with people who really know you. You may have thought, “I’m such a godly person until I get home.” We need lots of grace to practice unselfish, Christ-honoring love at home first.
HOW YOU RESPOND TO THE NEEDS OF OTHERS
Romans 12:13, contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality.
One of the marks of regeneration is the grace of the open heart. God opens believers’ hearts to others, especially to believers, but also strangers. Look at the early church. One of the first things they are doing is giving. You become aware that what you have isn’t really yours. God gives you the strength to make money. Let’s add, God in His good sovereignty allowed you to be born into the materially most blessed nation in history. And you learn, like Paul said, it is more blessed to give than to receive. God has so much to say about meeting the needs of others.
Ephesians 4:28, He who steals must steal no longer; but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who has need.
Titus 3:14, Our people must also learn to engage in good deeds to meet pressing needs, so that they will not be unfruitful.
1 Timothy 6:17-19, Instruct those who are rich in this present world not to be conceited or to fix their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy. 18 Instruct them to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, 19 storing up for themselves the treasure of a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is life indeed.
Look at that last passage carefully. You and I have more money than most people on the planet. Don’t be conceited or hope in your wealth, but “do good, be rich in good works, be generous, be ready to share” – exactly what Paul is saying here in Romans 9:13!
Let’s look at another great passage on the grace of giving, the grace of the open heart – 2 Corinthians 8. Verse 1 says giving shows God’s grace in your heart. The higher you esteem God’s grace, the more generous you’ll tend to be. Verse 2 says when you are going through hardship, even deep poverty, you can still give something. God doesn’t count the amount; He reads the heart. Verse 3 says they didn’t need to be coerced; grace-filled hearts are giving hearts. Verses 4-5 reminds me of the offerings for the tabernacle in Exodus 36:5. So much was given that Moses had to send out the memo, “Stop giving! We have enough!” This is probably the first and last time God’s people had to be restrained in their giving! Verse 9 gives us the divine example and incentive to give, a Christmas verse, “You know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, though He was rich, for your sakes He became poor, that we through His poverty might become rich.”
You may wonder what the needs in the church are. First, they are needs, not luxuries. Believers need to be discerning about their giving. Is it going toward a good cause? Some giving goes to the ongoing functioning of the church. We’ve got to pay the electric bill. We are wanting to pay off our mortgage. There is upkeep like removing the stained foyer carpet with new carpeting. Your giving is used in the proclamation of the gospel – to missionaries and for our children’s classes materials. Sometimes there are special needs among God’s people.
What about practicing or pursuing hospitality? Hospitality is philoxenia, warmly receiving strangers. One of the joys of being in this church is getting to know and welcome strangers. We’ve gotten to know so many people in the last three years. Where did you all come from? God brought you here and I hope you feel warmly welcome.
Hospitality is as much an attitude as it is an action. It’s that willingness to open your life to strangers, in this case professing believers. It may mean just talking together, having a meal together, inviting new people to your home. It’s too easy to get comfortable with the people you know, but we need the grace of an open heart to strangers. And God says pursue it. Go for it. Shortly after we were saved, Carolyn and I went to Bolivia with a mission’s group. As we got to know our fellow-workers, we found ourselves with people who had very different biblical views. Then we met Paul and Tim Wyma with New Tribes Missions. We were strangers, but they invited us to their mission’s compound and were so kind and welcoming to us. They opened the scriptures to us. They practiced hospitality.
HOW YOU EXPRESS COMPASSION TOWARD OTHERS
Romans 12:14-15, Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.
Compassion means feeling along with someone else, to see and feel life from their perspective. Christ showed compassion constantly, to the widow whose son died, to the thousands who were hungry, to the people like sheep without a shepherd. He wept at Lazarus’ grave as he grieved for Mary and Martha. True compassion means forgetting about yourself and living to bless others. No one is more miserable than a person full of himself.
How do you respond to people who oppose you, attack you, mock or revile you? You know what your natural tendency is. You expressed it in kindergarten when that kid came over and called you a name or took your book. Cursing people who are making life rough for you is easy and what we want to do. Someone cuts you down and you yell, “Same to ya, fella!” God uses the word bless twice! He must mean what He’s saying. To bless means to say good things about others. To curse means you want that person to spend eternity in the flames and torment of hell.
But God says to bless them, speak well to them. Paul was reflecting Jesus’ teaching in…
Luke 6:27-28, “But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
They are your enemies – love them. They hate you – do them good. They curse you – bless them. “You can’t be serious, preacher!” We all miss the mark, but God is serious about this. These responses will help heal your wounds and bring glory to God. Look at Christ, at Stephen filled with Christ’s Spirit being stoned to death, “Lord, don’t hold this sin against them” (Acts 7:60). Jesus prayed, “Father, forgive them.” Peter has something to tell us about handling people who persecute or mistreat you.
1 Peter 2:21-23, For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, 22 WHO COMMITTED NO SIN, NOR WAS ANY DECEIT FOUND IN HIS MOUTH; 23 and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously;
Does God really mean we are to bless people who make life miserable for us? Let’s remember, God ordained human government to restrain those who would do us physical harm. The physical abuse of children is not to be tolerated. But I heard long ago, “Sin #1 never excuses sin #2.” When someone sins against me, I am not excused to sin back. As we go on in Romans 12 we will see, “Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.”
Remember Corrie ten Boom’s test of forgiveness? She was at a meeting when a former Nazi jailor came up to shake her hand and express thanks for how Jesus washed away his sins. Corrie recognized him and horrendous memories flooded her mind. She didn’t want to extend her hand. She prayed and somehow God’s grace moved her to finally take his hand. She sensed the grace of God filling her heart. She wrote, “When God tells us to love our enemies, He gives along with the command the love itself.”
In the book Unbroken, Louis Zamperini, the WW2 prisoner in Japan, talks about the Bird, a prison guard who ruthlessly mistreated him. He made him hold a heavy beam over his head for 37 minutes. After the war Louis was saved and returned to Japan to preach the gospel to the Japanese. He wanted to see the Bird. But the Bird, Watanabe, had apparently stabbed himself to death. Louie felt compassion when he heard. “At that moment something shifted sweetly inside him. It was forgiveness, beautiful and effortless and complete.”
How do we really pull this off? Only by the Spirit of God and our love for Christ above all. We must see past the offense to the need. William Tyndale was strangled and burned at the stake in 1536 for his work of translating the Bible into English. During his time in jail before being killed, he won the jailor and his family to Christ. There’s no better way to bless people.
How do you show compassion to others in their joys or sorrows? We don’t usually get this right either, but God clearly says to rejoice with people who are rejoicing, and weep with those who weep. The self-sins of jealousy and envy will keep you from rejoicing with that person who just got a promotion above you. It’s easier to weep with people going through a rough time. But God’s whole purpose here is to selflessly identify with your fellow believers. Rejoice with them with the same attitude you’d have if you were the one being so richly blessed. And you weep with others as if you yourself were going through the same ordeal, whatever it may be.
I sat beside Mark Simpson in Greek class in college, and we competed grade wise. Mark got upset with less than 100% on a test or quiz. Did I weep with him? And when he got 100% and I got an 85%, I wasn’t all that rejoicing in his rejoicing. We need the power of Christ’s Spirit to free us from love for ourselves.
HOW YOU PRACTICE HUMILITY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
Romans 12:16, Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation.
Pride destroys relationships, doesn’t it? Do you enjoy spending time with a know-it-all? Proverbs 11:2 says, “When pride comes, then comes dishonor, but with the humble is wisdom.” Proverbs 13:10, “Through presumption or arrogance comes nothing, but strife but with those who receive counsel is wisdom.” Romans 12:16 bleeds humility. If we’re going to be growing spiritually, we’ve got to be plucking out the weeds of pride in our spiritual gardens and nurturing humility. There are three crucial areas where you need humility.
You need humility to resolve conflicts – vs. 16a. That’s what Paul means by being of the same mind. He told those two ladies, Euodia and Syntyche, in Philippians 4:2 to “be of the same mind” with one another. They weren’t getting along. They both needed to take inventory of their own arrogance. Warren Wiersbe suggests they both wanted to be president of the Missionary Society. Now they used different doors and sat on opposite sides of the room. Paul counseled them to “have the same mind.” Being of the same mind doesn’t mean you have to agree on every jot and title, but it means you are honoring each other and committed to reconciliation. To resolve conflict, you need humility. You must step on your pride, admit you are wrong, and ask the person for forgiveness. But don’t stop there. You look for ways to be a blessing to him or her.
You need humility in your fellowship with other believers – vs. 16b. “Don’t be haughty, high-minded, too good to hang out with these other peons.” Some people are so self-important they hardly have time to come down and talk with us normal earthlings. There’s no room for this in the church. Any class spirit or arrogance just has to go. Yet, we see churches fawn over celebrities. If we announced Jalen Hurts would be here next week, how many people do you think would show up? Or better, John MacArthur?
You need humility in your own opinion of yourself – vs. 16c “Be not wise in your own estimation.” Proverbs 26:12, “Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There’s more hope for a fool than for him.” We just read it in Proverbs 3:7, “Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and turn away from evil.” The proud fool has nothing to learn from God or anyone else. He already knows everything! You find these in the Christian sphere. “I have a Ph.D. and know all things.” “Big deal, I have two Ph.Ds. and know more than you do!” They know so much they can hardly get their puffed-up heads in the door. Remember, our Savior was “humble and lowly in heart.” Even when there are different personalities and gifts and abilities, humility allows people to work together as a team and submit to the whole purpose of honoring Christ.
SO WHAT?
Being generous, having compassion, and living humbly. Thank God for forgiveness when our pride bursts out or we feel a cut above others. We are far from being all Christ was, aren’t we? We need forgiveness for our arrogance and selfishness, for our hurtful reactions, hurtful words, proud thoughts of ourselves. I’m glad God doesn’t accept me based on perfect godliness, but rather on Christ and His perfect godliness.
As you’ve been listening have you seen your own sin and rebellion against God? Do you see how much you need God’s forgiveness and Christ as your Lord and Savior? Come to Him for forgiveness of your sinful pride and selfishness. Christ is calling you to turn from your sins, bow your knee at the cross as a sinner, and place your trust and faith in Christ alone to give you that new life you so desperately need.