Click here to view the entire service
This is what a transformed life in Christ looks like as the Spirit of God and the Word of God work powerfully in your life.
Romans 12:9-21, Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; 11 not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; 12 rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, 13 contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality. 14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. 16 Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. 17 Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.
Imagine this. You have been doing an excellent job in your position at the company, but for some strange reason you’ve just been fired and replaced by a young rival of yours. You clean up your desk, pick up your briefcase, and head for the parking lot. A good friend is walking with you when suddenly some screwball starts yelling at you, cursing you, throwing pebbles and dirt at you, and even spitting in your direction. What would you do? Your good friend, who’s no Marvin Milquetoast, offers to go over there and take care of the situation.
This very thing happened to David in 2 Samuel 16 when Absalom took over as king and David fled the throne. Shimei cursed David, threw stones at him, and called him names.
2 Samuel 16:5-7, When King David came to Bahurim, behold, there came out from there a man of the family of the house of Saul whose name was Shimei, the son of Gera; he came out cursing continually as he came. 6 He threw stones at David and at all the servants of King David; and all the people and all the mighty men were at his right hand and at his left. 7 Thus Shimei said when he cursed, “Get out, get out, you man of bloodshed, and worthless fellow!”
Abishai, David’s bodyguard, begged to go over there and take off Shimei’s head. But David forbade him. The most natural thing in the world is to strike back in anger and revenge when someone does evil to us. We sue, lash out with curses and angry words, even become physically violent, avoid the person, slander them to others, or drive a car into their home. One angry wife splashed paint on her unfaithful husband’s car and cut the sleeves out of his coat. “Serves him right,” you say. Like I said, hitting back is the most natural thing in the world. Charles Bridges in his volume on Proverbs says, “Revenge is indeed a cherished lust of the flesh.”
But which takes more strength, to react and lash out or to restrain yourself and return good for evil? There is no greater display of strength, strength under control, than when the Jews and Roman soldiers mocked and abused our Lord. Look at Christ in Caiaphas’ house. Once they charged Him with blasphemy and deserving of death, they spit in His face, beat Him with their fists, slapped Him, and mocked Him (Matthew 26:67). A little later when Pilate turned Jesus over to be crucified, the Roman soldiers stripped Him, put a scarlet robe on Him, jammed a crown of thorns on His head, spit on Him, beat him with a reed, and mocked Him some more, before leading Him out to crucify Him. He could have called twelve legions of angels instantly – 72,000 of them. But He didn’t.
God calls us to live with that kind of strength when we face evil. This is impossible apart from the inner strength Christ gives His people. Rather than letting evil conquer you, God has called us to be men and women of God who live as not as victims, but as victors who work hard at conquering evil with good. Paul is going to teach us what godly strength looks like in the war against evil. We’ll look at three ways God wants us to show godly strength in the face of evil.
GODLY STRENGTH REFUSES TO RETURN EVIL FOR EVIL
Romans 12:17, Never pay back evil for evil to anyone.
Here is an absolute prohibition. When is it right to pay back evil for evil? Never! What is evil? Something done to you motivated by hatred, jealousy, anger, or bitterness. Someone is trying to hurt you, destroy you, discourage you. God says, “Never pay back evil for evil.” That’s an absolute. You don’t have to wonder about it. And then come the additional words, “to anyone.” Not even to one person. God would say to us, “Which part of never and no one do you not understand?” We love to flip the script. Someone criticizes us and immediately we think of ten things they do wrong. And if this verse 17 isn’t clear enough, God repeats this command in almost the same words two more times.
1 Thessalonians 5:15, See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people.
1 Peter 3:9, not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.
You may be thinking, “Oh dear! I didn’t expect this message. Tell us nice things.” Come back next week for hope and learn how you can change your feelings and thoughts about an enemy. Meanwhile, let’s take another look at David when Saul chases him all over the wilderness driven by the rage of jealousy.
The Cave Ordeal – 1 Samuel 24. David and his guys were hanging out in a cave when Saul “by chance” came into that very cave to use the restroom. David’s men were beside themselves with glee. “David, look! God has delivered your enemy right into your hand!” What did David do? He sneaked up behind Saul, cut off a piece of his robe, and let Saul go. Afterward, David’s conscience bothered him about cutting Saul’s robe, so he called out to Saul trying to reason with him and showed him the piece of his robe he had cut off. Saul replied, “You have dealt well with me, while I have dealt wickedly with you.” Worthless words because he kept chasing David.
The Camp Invasion – 1 Samuel 26. One night David and his sidekick Abishai crept into Saul’s camp. They made their way to the very center of the camp, stepping over sleeping bodies all around to where Saul lay snoring away in deep sleep. David could have easily made royal shishkabob out of this murderous king. In fact, Abishai pleads with David, “Let me pin him to the ground with my spear. Please David, it will only take one stroke!” Instead, David grabbed Saul’s spear and water jug and sneaked away. Later David called out to Saul and his troops and showed them all the spear and water jug and then actually returned them. Saul blubbered on about how blessed David was and admitted he had been very wrong. But David knew the evil in Saul’s heart.
Often evil is motivated by jealousy or offended pride. You see it in businesses out to destroy their competitors and politicians out to destroy their opponents. You see it in family members, and quite often in marriages. Sometimes we don’t even know why someone is so mean-spirited and irritable. Some people just live with an angry spirit and feel it is their duty to make others miserable. Proverbs talks about the angry man, “Don’t go with an angry man” (Proverbs 22:24). Young ladies, don’t marry one of these characters. He may cover it at first, but three or four years into the marriage will likely bring great sadness. If he gets ticked off easily, look for the exit door now.
While growing up, my family had a next-door neighbor named Dolly. I don’t know what provoked this, but one day as my mother and Dolly were talking at the edge of our property, Dolly slapped mom right across the face. So, my mom reared back and gave her a left jab and a right hook and sent Dolly down into the ditch. Are you kidding? My mom was a Mennonite pacifist. What’s she going to do? She just swallowed it and came back and tried to maintain a relationship with Dolly as a neighbor.
What does God say? “Never return evil for evil to anyone.” Our natural response is to hit back and lash out. We parade our life motto on our bumpers, “I don’t get mad; I get even.” Are you familiar with the Baptist preacher J. Frank Norris of Fort Worth, TX? He pastored two churches equaling about 20,000 people in the early 1900s. He was very popular, but his legacy is that he paid back evil for evil. He excoriated the Catholic mayor of Fort Worth by saying he wasn’t fit to be mayor of a hog pen. A wealthy friend of the mayor, Mr. Chips, told the preacher to lay off the mayor. They exchanged words and Mr. Chips, possibly inebriated, came to the church to challenge Norris to a fight. Norris pulled a pistol out of the desk drawer and fired four shots at Mr. Chips, who died of the wounds on the way to the hospital. J. Frank Norris then called his wife and the police, letting them know, “I just killed me a man.” Now that story makes great drama, but it doesn’t glorify Christ or demonstrate a godly spirit. Had it been a case of self-defense, that may have been a different matter.
God has ordained government, armies, and police officers to deal with evil. It doesn’t bear the sword in vain. This includes self-defense when life is threatened until the police get there. Returning justice for evil is the whole purpose of government and armies and police. But on the personal relationship level, godly men and women are strong and work hard at refusing to return evil for evil.
GODLY STRENGTH PLANS AHEAD FOR RESPONDING TO EVIL PEOPLE
Romans 12:17b Respect what is right in the sight of all men.
The word “respect” is really “think ahead” or “plan ahead.” And the word for right is “kalos,” meaning goodness expressed outwardly, excellent, appropriate, splendid, well-done. Notice Paul again includes “all men.” The idea is to think or plan ahead how you’re going to respond to that person the next time he says or does something to knock you off balance. Who hasn’t reacted in kind, evil for evil? You let him have it. You think he deserved it. Your temper flared or your pride was pinched, and you said the wrong thing. So, to avoid such a scene, you must plan right now to respond in a gracious way by controlling, to control your words, and to use words that are solution oriented. Plan ahead – don’t wait until the whole thing explodes. Those of you who’ve been in the Newcomers Class have learned the four rules of communication. Rule #3 is Attack Problems, Not People.
Ephesians 4:29, Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.
If people heard and saw your response to evil, would they declare the power of God is certainly in you? We’re to be salt and light in this corrupt and dark world, right? We’re not here to get our way, but to reflect Christ in this crazy world. We must not give the world a legitimate basis for accusing us of evil.
1 Peter 2:12. Keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may because of your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation.
Our children and grandchildren don’t need to see us exploding in anger or cursing the guy in front of us. They need to see us responding to evil with the grace and strength of Christ. How sad that many children have witnessed verbal warfare between mom and dad, both angrily returning evil for evil. Daniel in the Bible had a plan for handling the people who hated him. They could find no grounds for accusation or evidence of corruption. So, knowing that Daniel was a man of prayer, they tricked the king to outlaw all prayer for a month. What was Daniel’s response? Instead of taking vengeance on them, he simply just kept praying and living as he did before, even though it cost him a night with the kittens (a/k/a lions).
GODLY STRENGTH DOES EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO BE A PEACEMAKER
Romans 12:18, If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.
“If possible” means peace is not always possible in this world. You can’t change others, but you can change when there is a rift between you and someone else. Let’s be sure we understand this. This certainly doesn’t mean we should be at peace with evil and sin. Calvin wrote, “The soldiers of Christ cannot have lasting peace with the world, which is ruled by Satan.” Spurgeon had to take his stand in the Downgrade Controversy against attacks on the inspiration of the Bible and the substitutionary atonement of Christ. Taking a stand for Spurgeon meant separating from the Baptist Union in 1887. Throughout history men and churches and organizations have had to separate from doctrinal or practical heresy and liberal churches. Paul didn’t just “go along to get along” with Peter when Peter compromised the gospel in Galatians 2:11. Paul said, “I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned.” Machen left Princeton in 1929 because of liberalism creeping in and then established Westminster Seminary. Alva McClain left the Church of the Brethren denomination to begin the Grace Brethren denomination and Grace Seminary. My beloved professor Dr. Whitcomb taught at Grace Seminary from 1951 to 1990, almost 40 years. He was fired for taking a strong stand for Genesis 1 creationism and against the theological drift he discerned. He then left the Grace Brethren denomination and, along with others, formed a new denomination.
So, being at peace with all men doesn’t mean you just go along to get along. Recently, I mentioned my wife and my experience in Bolivia. We realized the missions group we were with were not there to teach the gospel and decided we could not serve with them for two years. So, we wrote a letter to our leader explaining our beliefs and used our savings to pay our way back to the states. There are times when you see a church, denomination, seminary, or organization drifting the wrong way and you must separate.
Truth divides. Jesus said He didn’t come to bring peace but a sword, meaning peace with evil, sin, or false teaching. You can’t make peace with error or compromise truth in order to get along. James 3:17 says wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable. We must always fight for the integrity of God’s Word and the Bible. We cannot make peace with those who deny the Genesis 1-2 creation account or approve same sex marriage or the lgbtq+ or transgender agenda. When a pastor says the Old Testament isn’t important, or publicly platforms same sex couples, or declares that God only whispers about sexual sins, it’s time to graciously move on. We’re talking about fighting the good fight of faith, and that fight does not compromise clearly stated truth in the Scripture.
But Paul is not talking about the fight of faith here. He’s talking about personal relationships. “As much as depends on you” means you will do all you can to bring peace into the situation, to be a peacemaker. Satan loves conflict, hatred, angry tempers. Paul said in Ephesians 4:26-27, “BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and do not give the devil an opportunity.” That’s communication Rule #2, Keep Current. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger means resolve personal conflict as quickly as possible. Apply this in your marriage. Some couples have gone to bed angry not just for one sundown, but for many. So whether it’s a marriage conflict, or someone else in your life, don’t drag a fight into the next day, or week, or year. You may not be able to change the other person’s attitude toward you, but you can do all you can to resolve the problem. Don’t nurse bitterness or hold a grudge against that person you’re having a hard time with. You may not harbor malice toward the other person, having an intention or desire to do evil or harm to another. Here’s the key – don’t live in reaction to people, but in response to God’s grace and wisdom. That’s communication Rule #4, Act, Don’t React.
Ephesians 4:31-32, Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
How do you live at peace when someone else is being a troublemaker against you?
- Remember that sin #1 never excuses sin #2. We naturally think it does. “But he hit me first…called me a name first…offended me first…I can’t let him get away with that!” And we’ll often add, “I couldn’t help it. He started it.” No, we can’t blame our sins on other people’s sins.
- Realize the person who is attacking you is gripped and controlled by their own flesh, just as we often are, and needs God’s grace in his or her life.
- Recall and review verses that help put the brakes on your flesh and reactions. Proverbs 15:1, “A soft answer turns away wrath.” James 1:19-20 “Be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. Man’s anger doesn’t accomplish God’s will.” Matthew 5:39, “Whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.” A right cheek slap of anger with the back of the enemy’s hand provokes anger, but to turn the other cheek means you let him know he is not controlling you; God is. You have God’s power restraining you. Refuse to live with a spirit of revenge or retaliation. Live in the power of the grace of God. Plus, God is sovereign even over this person who is attacking you. Your goal as a believer in Christ is to love this person for Christ’s sake. Don’t react with the same evil he’s using against you.
How do you respond to the personal evil someone brings against you? Look at Christ. He didn’t return evil for evil ever. Instead of hitting back or spitting back, He came determining to do us good! Instead of coming and dragging us all before His judgment seat, He Himself took the evil, the punishment for our sin, in His own body. He overcame evil with good for our blessing. You must realize, though, that while He turned His cheek to those bad actors in Caiaphas’ house and Pilate’s court at His first coming, when Christ returns the second time, He will not be turning His cheek. He’ll be coming in flaming fire dealing out retribution to those who reject the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. You don’t want to face that flaming fire and retribution. Now is the time to humble yourself before Him and seek His forgiveness and eternal life by acknowledging your sin and receiving Him as your Lord and Savior.