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“If you could lick my heart, it would poison you.” That’s what Yitzak Zuckerman told an interviewer about the bitterness he carried as a survivor of the Jewish Polish resistance to the Nazis in WW2. He helped lead Jewish fighters, including his wife, through sewers to safe areas. Jessica Gorman gave testimony this week on Capitol Hill about her daughter’s murder by an illegal Venezuelan immigrant. In her anguish and tears she said she’s just glad her daughter was only murdered and not raped and dismembered!
We live in a fallen world with plenty of horrific examples of senseless crimes. Our sense of justice calls for punishment of offenders and that’s not wrong. Most of us will probably not deal with what Jessica Gorman or Yitzak Zuckerman have experienced. But you and I will certainly be offended at some point and in some way. How will you handle your offenders?
Last week we looked at Psalm 32 and with David we rejoiced in God’s forgiveness to us. Every believer in Christ has been forgiven forever by God’s judicial forgiveness based on the work of Christ on that cross. God removes the guilt of our sins as far as the east is from the west, buries them in the deepest sea, and completely blots them out. He refuses to remember our sins against us. That’s the blessing of the gospel. Jesus said in Luke 24:46-47, “Thus it is written, that the Christ would suffer and rise again from the dead on the third day, and that repentance for forgiveness of sins would be proclaimed in His name to all the nations.”
Man’s greatest need is forgiveness and forgiveness is at the heart of the gospel for sinners who deserved His wrath. I brought up those extreme cases just to remind us that forgiveness isn’t easy. But it wasn’t easy for God either. Our forgiveness required the agonizing crucifixion and death of the Son of God. But God is ready to forgive. He is a merciful God who extends great forgiveness to great sinners. And now God says over and over, His forgiven people become forgiving people. The doctrine of forgiveness should always be running in the background of your heart to detect the viruses of bitterness, grudges, resentment, and hatred toward others. What gets rid of these destructive viruses is the constant remembrance that you too are a sinner and need God’s forgiveness. We’re going to do a simple Bible study this morning about the importance of a forgiving spirit, about forgiven people becoming forgiving people.
FORGIVENESS IN THE LORD’S PRAYER
Matthew 6:12,14-15, ‘And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. [14] For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. [15] But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.
There are two kinds of forgiveness from God. There is judicial forgiveness when God saves us and forgives our sins once for all, fully and forever. Then there’s paternal or fatherly forgiveness. We need God’s daily forgiveness. Not a day goes by without sin in some measure in our hearts. And so we pray, “Lord, forgive us for our sins of commission and omission. We’ve done what we should not have done and not done what we should have done. We’ve sinned in attitude, motive, words, actions, and we’ve not loved and cared for others the way we ought.”
But if we expect our Father to forgive us, God calls us to forgive those who sin against us. This doesn’t mean we earn forgiveness by forgiving others. It means if God has forgiven us, then we must forgive others. Martyn Lloyd-Jones said, “If we really know Christ as our Savior our hearts are broken and cannot be hard, and we cannot refuse forgiveness” to others. People hurt us, betray us, lie to us, hate us, gossip and slander us, abuse us, mock us, beat us, kick us, fire us unjustly, rip us off of money, humiliate us, mistreat our loved ones, step on us to get ahead, put us down, belittle us with their superior knowledge, show partiality against us, spread rumors about us, criticize and reject us – all these and many more ways people offend us. Jesus says, “Forgive us our debt of sins even as (in the same way) we forgive those who sin against us.”
Verse 15 is not teaching that we earn forgiveness by forgiving others. Again, Martyn Lloyd-Jones explains, “The proof that you and I are forgiven is that we forgive others…. The man who knows he has been forgiven only in and through the shed blood of Christ is a man who must forgive others. If we really know Christ as our Savior our hearts are broken and cannot be hard, and we cannot refuse forgiveness.” But forgiveness is not so simple or easy. It’s easy to talk about but not so easy to practice it, especially depending on the offense.
A DISGUSTING STORY ABOUT A MISERABLE WRETCH
Matthew 18:21-22, Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” [22] Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.
Good old Peter once again opens his mouth and inserts his foot. The rabbis taught that for sin #1 forgive. For sin #2 forgive. For sin #3 forgive. But with sin #4, blast away! So Peter, knowing Jesus to be a merciful Savior and thinking he’s being generous, suggests forgiving a brother up to seven times. Wrong! Jesus shocks him, “Seventy times seven,” meaning there must be no limit to our forgiving others. And then he tells this disgusting story about a miserable wretch who is forgiven but then is unforgiving.
Matthew 18:23-27, “For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. [25] But since he did not have the means to repay, his lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made. [26] So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.’ [27] And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt.
The slave owed about the amount of our national debt – 36 trillion dollars – a debt he couldn’t possibly pay off. When the king pronounced the penalty – total liquidation and selling his whole family into slavery – the slave quickly fell on his knees and begged for patience. “I’ll repay everything.” But the king felt mercy and forgave him the whole thing. Happy story so far.
This fellow walks out of the king’s presence in the freedom of full forgiveness. Then the most unexpected thing happens.
Matthew 18:28-30, But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe.’ [29] So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you.’ [30] But he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed.
Can you believe it? This is beyond disgusting. This slave was just forgiven trillions of dollars and now he demands his fellow slave repay him one hundred denarii (1/3 of a year’s wage). He even starts to choke him. A more repulsive, angering story could hardly be told. We want to take him and wring his neck. That’s Jesus’ whole point.
Matthew 18:31-35, So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their lord all that had happened. [32] Then summoning him, his lord said to him, ‘You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. [33] Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?’ [34] And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him. [35] My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.”
Here’s what a forgiven but unforgiving person looks like. Certainly our heavenly Father wants His children to be forgiving people. Warren Wiersbe wrote, “We reveal the true condition of our hearts by the way we treat others. When our hearts are humble and repentant, we will gladly forgive our brothers.” But what does verse 35 mean? Forgiveness is a symptom of those who have been truly saved. If we refuse to forgive a brother, we can expect God will discipline us and teach us a lesson about forgiveness.
Let’s take two lessons from Jesus’ masterful story.
#1 We have been forgiven a huge, infinite debt of guilt against our holy God. We could never pay it off if Christ had not come and paid it in full for us.
#2 We are like this miserable wretch if we refuse to forgive those who have offended us. Jesus isn’t teaching salvation by forgiving others or works of any kind. He’s talking about the importance of forgiveness in the family of God.
PRAYER AND A FORGIVING HEART
Mark 11:25, Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions.
This is an extremely helpful verse. We want God to hear our prayers, but that requires us to have a forgiving heart toward anyone who has offended us. Notice, “anything against anyone.” That’s all-inclusive! As you are before God praying and suddenly Ralph comes to mind who said or did something to you that angered you, hurt you, got in your grill, and you hold animosity toward him, you have hard feelings toward Ralph. You’re at a fork. Your loving, forgiving heavenly Father is waiting for you, His child, to forgive. Your willingness or unwillingness to have a forgiving heart toward Ralph will show whether your own request for forgiveness is genuine. If your heart is softened toward Ralph in view of your own need of forgiveness, God extends fatherly forgiveness to you. If your heart is hard and unforgiving and bitter and resentful toward him, God sees your hypocrisy and says before you pray to me you need to have a forgiving attitude toward Ralph. In fact, you may need to go to Ralph and tell him you forgive him.
Remember what Yitzak Zuckerman said, “If you could lick my heart it would poison you.” There’s another very different story related to World War 2. Corrie ten Boom and her sister Betsy had been imprisoned and horrible abused by Nazi guards at the Ravensbrück concentration camp in Germany. Betsy died in December 1944, and Corrie was accidentally released on New Year’s Day, 1945. Corrie began to speak on forgiveness and reconciliation in the post-WW2 world. One day in 1947 she was back in Germany sharing the gospel and emphasizing forgiveness. At one point a man walked up to Corrie whom she recognized as one of the guards who treated the ladies cruelly in Ravensbrück. “How good to know, as you say, all our sins are buried in the bottom of the sea!” He held out his hand to shake hers. “You mentioned Ravensbrück. I was a guard there, but since that time I have become a Christian. I know God has forgiven me. But, Fraulein, I would like to hear it from your lips. Would you forgive me?” Corrie hesitated. Could it be that simple after the suffering this man and others put them through? Corrie writes, “It seemed hours as I wrestled with the most difficult thing I ever had to do.” She finally thrust out her hand and cried out, “I forgive you, brother! With all my heart!” Corrie passed the forgiveness test that day.
THE CHRISTLIKE FORGIVING SPIRIT
Ephesians 4:31-32, Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. [32] Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
Colossians 3:13, bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.
We live in a world that glories in revenge. It’s the stuff of movies and novels and real life. It’s all about not letting him or her get away with that. Arguments, violence, threats, lawsuits are common. Thoughts begin subtly as tiny mental nudges but increase to evil thinking: “I can’t believe you said that.” “See if I ever talk to you again.” “I wish you were dead.” Cutting comments, silent treatment, and avoidance come into a relationship and soon you are thinking, “I don’t deserve this. He has no right. She hurt me so deeply, no one understands what I’m going through.”
In the midst of this pagan, selfish, flesh-driven world of bitterness and anger Christ calls His people to cultivate kindness, tenderheartedness, and a forgiving spirit just as God in Christ forgave us. A forgiving spirit, forgiving heart in Ephesians 4:31 means refusing to nurse bitterness toward others. Bitterness leads to wrath, wrath to anger, that slow burn of resentment, anger to yelling or clamor, yelling to slander, and slander to deep hostility and hatred, malice. “I wish you’d get out of my life. I hate you.” That’s the stuff that festers and burns in the heart of so many.
Biblical counselor Dave Powlison (now with the Lord) compared bitterness to the underground coal fires that are burning under the town of Centralia, Pa. These fires started over fifty years ago and are expected to burn 250 more years. The town has emptied out of population. You probably know people whose hearts are burning with resentment and bitterness like those underground coal fires. What’s the answer to this ugly human heart corruption? Whenever you are tempted to go back and dredge up those old hurts, go immediately to the cross and remember what your sin cost Jesus Christ and that He will never dredge up your forgiven sins and throw them in your face again.
Paul gives us three heart qualities in Ephesians 4:32. These are what it means to be like Christ. First, kindness means being concerned for the well-being of others. You aren’t always all about yourself. You think the best of other people and are genuinely interested in them. The second quality to counter bitterness is tender-heartedness. You know God has been merciful to you and you give tons of mercy to others, beginning with your spouse and children. You know others are struggling with the same fallenness as you are. Tenderhearted people want to cause as little hurt as possible to others, like the doctor who probes ever so gently. And the third heart quality is a forgiving spirit. A forgiving spirit refuses to think that person who hurt you needs to pay for what they said or did, or the gossip they spread about you. Forgive as God in Christ has forgiven you.
When you say “I forgive you” you are making a threefold promise. I’m not going to use your offense against you again; I’m not going to talk to others about it (unless necessary for legal or other reasons); and I’m not going to dwell on it myself. And when you have trouble forgiving, never forget that last little clause in this verse: “Even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.” You look past the offense, past the offender, and you look to God, you look to the cross where Christ shed his blood for your sins. The reason God’s people are forgivers is because they know God has forgiven them of all their sins freely, fully, and forever. God’s people are forgiven and forgivers.
Forgiveness is powerful, life-changing. Forgiven people, like the psalmist David in the Bible, walk with great joy and gladness. And forgiven people become forgiving people. Do you forgive others? Are there people in your life right now who you need to tell God, and perhaps them, I completely forgive, I hold no grudge, and I truly want God’s best for you.
Forgiving doesn’t mean people get away with murder and it doesn’t always remove the consequences or penalties for sin. MacArthur notes that for small matters forgiveness is unconditionally given. But sometimes forgiveness is conditioned on the offender’s repentance. Paul told the Corinthians not even to eat with the immoral so-called believer. Paul told Timothy to watch out for Alexander the coppersmith. He did Paul a lot of wrong. In fact God doesn’t forgive people unconditionally or everyone would be forgiven and going to heaven. God conditions forgiveness on repentance, as Jesus said in Luke 23:47, preach “repentance for the forgiveness of sins.”
Let me throw in a couple of other issues regarding forgiveness. You will never ever need to forgive God. God never offends. To say you need to forgive God would be blasphemy. And you don’t need to forgive yourself. There’s nothing in the Bible about self-forgiveness. When you know you’ve done wrong, you change and do what is right. When you regret something horrible you’ve done, like accidently run over a child, you confess your sorrow to God and express your heart-felt sorrow to those involved.
Never forget those heart melting, compassionate words of our Lord as He was being crucified, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” They knew they were murdering an innocent man, but they weren’t aware that they were murdering the Son of God. John MacArthur notes, “They were ignorant of the enormity of their crime.” Along with millions of others, though our sins put Him there, if you are a believer in Christ, thank God He answered Jesus’ prayer in your case. And rejoice in God’s full, free, forever forgiveness. We’ve been forgiven, and now we are to be forgivers.